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‘I wanted to be who I felt I was. Broken. A wreck. A nobody.’

There’s a moment where life happens. It’s the moment just before making a good deci-sion, or a bad one. For Milton Schorr, just such a moment took place at the age of seven-teen, when he found himself squatting on his haunches in a Cape Town flat with a heroin
needle in his arm.

A friend sat with him, his thumb on the plunger, and a decision was to be made. Let the heroin slip inside, and take the road the drug offered, or turn away, and find a new life not defined by the endless quest for oblivion.

For Schorr, the path was already set, as it had been at his first taste of shoplifting, porn, cigarettes, alcohol, marijuana, Mandrax, LSD, Ecstasy and sex. No decision is separate from any other, each one is a continuation of all that have gone before, and it is only by a
monumental reckoning with the self that the course can be altered.

This book is the story of Milton Schorr’s life as a drug addict, both in active addiction and recovery. Today, two decades sober, he relates the pivotal points in his own journey toward death, and back to life.